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..... Sahar Raman Deep

Monday, October 12, 2015

Acchoh Ehsaas.... 16

Awaaza de harh vicho
Chunani Mai awaaz teri
Dassi kera
Pehchaan teri

Awaaza de harh vicho
Cchanke j kidhre sannata
Pehchaan layee oh
Saah meri....

Kitaab 'Acchoh Ehsaas' vicho

.....Sahar Raman Deep

Acchoh Ehsaas..... 15

Mere shabdo sunne bol ve
Aa sun lai beh k kol ve
Shayad tu samajh sake
Mai dil rakh ditta phol k

Takkee keraa naina de vich
Sukke hanjhu cchalkan ge
Cchooh k Dekhi hath ik veraa
Dil ch samundar ucchlan ge
Azmaayee Dekhi ban jau moti
Hanjh tali te dol k
Shayad tu samajh sake
Mai dil rakh ditta phol k
Mere shabdo sunne bol ve

Sun la k kann dil di dharkan
Dharat hatkore lai rhi
Sun mere saahaa di tarpan
Jeo sati koi ho rhi
Rakh k vekh pairh te pairh
Aapna aapa ghol k
Shayad tu samajh sake
Mai dil rakh ditta phol k
Mere shabdo sunne bol ve

....Sahar Raman Deep

Achoh Ehsaas.... 9

Ikk kahani
Utthadi hai bar bar
Zehan de vich
Milna te gummna
Te pa laina vichhore de vich
Ki ese nu ishaq kehnde ne?
Ja ishaq to vadh k
Koi hor cheez
Paak hai eh....

Lakhaan var mai jammi
Te mo gayee tainu labhdi labhdi
Lakhaan var tu aayeaa
Te anni hoi tainu takkdi takkdi
Par
Ik var v seene naal ghutt k
Tainu dil da haal suna na saki
Ki ehi hai reet?
Ya reet ton v vadh k
Kattarh dastoor hai koi...

Farak bahuta nhi teri meri kahani da
Na tainu mai mili
Na mil sakeya mainu tu
Par pata nahi kyo jaapdae
Karorha janam tak v
Kar sakdi ha intzaar
Toofan vich deeve lai ban sakdi ha deewar
Ki ese nu aitbaar kehnde ne?
Ja
Aas to v takrhi 
Koi zanjeer hai eh...

Kitaab 'Acchoh Ehsaas' vicho

....Sahar Raman Deep

Achoh Ehsaas.... 7

Mai
Hazaaraan vareyaan ton dekhdi aa rhi haa
Kujh v nhi badleya
Kujh v taa nhi badleya

Jadon janam hoyeya c
Tera te mera
Asi dohe ikko jehe saa
Ikko kadd de

Varhe guzarde gaye
Mai te tu vadde hunde gaye
Tera kadd vadhada gaya
Mai takkdi rhi
Mera v kadd vadh reha hai

Tu vadda ho gaya
Barha samajhdaar ban gaya
Tere nal Mai v vaddi hoi
Mai barhi sohni ho gayee
Tu balwaan ho gaya
Mai phull ban gayee
Tu Ram kahayaa
Mai Agni preekhyaa de ditti

Tu mainu barha pyaar ditta
Mai dhee ban k Teri goli bani rahi
Tu mera barha saath ditta
Mai tainu rakhdi bannadi rhi

Tu mainu Lakshmi banayeyaa
Mai tenu deotaa kehndi rhi 
Mai tainu janam ditta
Tu meri pooja kiti

Waqt hor guzreya
Tu saadh ho gaya
Tu maitho maa hon da
Haq hi khoh leya
Mai Menka ban gayee

Waqt thora hor guzreya
Tu chann te ja baitha
Te main Menka v na rhi
Meri bas gicchi reh gayee
Te badan.....



Kitaab 'Acchoh Ehsaas' vicho

....Sahar Raman Deep

Talking to You.....

I thought of something today.
I thought of writing today,
Thought that I will talk to you.

I do not know who you are
You are?... Or just a name you are!
A mystery is you to me
Still I thought I shall talk to you.

Long time ago
I had seen you.
I had seen a flash of you.
Or, had I seen you?
Still a mystery, but
I thought I will talk to you.

You are as I am
Nobody knows I am
But I know I am
So do you know..'I Am'.
What is You, I Am.

....Sahar
Dec. 24, 2013.

Dil Tujhe Hasna Padega.....

Kyo rota hai dil
Kyu musukurate hai honth
Meri mano to
Ye aaiynaa dekhna chhorhiye

Jo aks dil me hai
Use chehre par pakne do
Phir muskuraoge bhi to
Dil ko hasna padega..

...Sahar
11/6/13

Achoh Ehsaas.... 1

I



Achoh Ehsaas.... Mukhband by Prof. Gurtaran Singh



Achoh Ehsaas


Hello Friends... Just felt like sharing my book 'Acchoh Ehsaas' with you. To begin with, I am today publishing its front and back titles. Daily, I shall publish a poem or two from this book. I hope you enjoy.

Thank you.

Sahar Raman Deep.












Finding Myself!


March 30, 2013.


Always I thought I wanted to be myself! Myself? I was looking for myself:) MYSELF!

Strange.. Where was I looking for myself? Why was I looking for myself? And yet, constantly fighting with myself! Never did it occur to me, I need to accept myself before I could make myself reveal myself. After all, I am within me!

Such a simple thing.. And so easily overlooked.

It was on Friday last, that I decided to work on myself. I had continuously being working. But now, I could stop and think, what actually was required. For long, I had been running and running and running. And never realized I was running. Long back, I would often see me running breathlessly in my dreams, as if somebody, something were chasing me. I would run and run and run.. And slow down when my mind would. Or, when anxieties would start calming down, and I wake up refreshed. Even those dreams would not make me think, for I would start running as soon as I woke up. My mind never stopped, never thought.

You can either think or swim. I wasn't thinking, and I wasn't swimming. I dint know how to! Yet I thought I was doing both.

Then there came this time,when my anxieties brought me to the breaking point.  My feet stopped walking in 2005. Still, I ran. My mind did. I do not know what it wanted to accomplish. Perhaps, it wanted to cover the whole universe in one stride! Then failures. And frustrations... Try again, try again, try again. Then came a point, I could not even try again. Almost dead, wanted to kill myself. Depression. Panic. But mind ran. Still it wanted to ascend high. It ran. I slept, became inert, was bed ridden. It ran. Medicines could not stop me. They just lulled me temporarily. Even in that lull, I ran. I wanted to run. Chains gave me more frustration. Wanted to break them. I wanted to be free. To run. To stride. Even in chains I jumped, standing at the same place. Life came to a standstill. But I ran. I ran and ran and ran. Until I realized, I ran.

Last month, I thought I was alright now. I was not bedridden. I could walk. I had started walking. I decided to run. I had never stopped. So, here I go! I had rested enough. Now was the time I should catch up with the world. With all my zeal, I ran. Breathlessly, I ran. Haplessly, I ran. All I knew was, it is far where I have to reach. I dint know the way. I had not the means. I ran. I wanted money. I wanted the world. I dint want myself. I wanted others. Their approval. Their happiness. They wanted me to earn. So, I ran. They wanted me to support myself. I ran. It was after all my own good. I ran. One sane voice always warned me. Told me to relax. I dint listen. It warned me again. No, I want to move, tell me how to. It ignored me. I asked again. No answer. Are you there? No answer. Do you hear me? No answer. You don't listen to me deliberately. No answer. You don't want to guide me. No answer. You promised to guide me. No answer. You CHEAT!!! No answer. Frustrated, I ran. All alone, I ran.

And lo.. I fall. I cry. I want to die. O my god. I was getting well. O! I would have been alright soon. Those around me dint support me. I wanted to please them. I need to get well. I need my life. I need myself. I need myself. I broke. I need myself. That sane voice rose again. 'Buy some time.' How? I haven't got anything. You got your people. They will help you. No. I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I want to be independent. It sucks to ask for favors. I can do it myself. And I ran. I struggled. I strived. I argued. No response. I need you. I am there. No, you aren't. Silence! Are you there? Are you there? I need you. Where are you? Where are you? Come on now, speak. Talk to me! Where are you? I need you. I can't survive without you. I am nothing without you. I do not exist without you. Come, speak to me. Talk to me. Please come. Please.

Ok.. I will do whatever you want me to. I will. Believe me. I will. I listened. Deep dark silence. Oh, where are you? Have you finally left me? No. I screamed out of sheer terror. Nothing like what I had known ever before. No. It can't be so. It can't be so. I caaaaan't be.

I listened to myself. Oh no. Oh no. What will I do. What will I do now. Where am I. Where am I. Oh I am already dying. Where are you? Please. Please. Please talk to me. Be with me.

'Yes.'

Oh! My eyes glowed out of all tears. You are there. You are there. I held it tightly. I held it close to me. I held it close to my heart. I feel so war..? Warm? Where is the warmth? Why do I feel so cold? It is cold. Oh yes, it IS cold. But why? Soon, I was alone. Wondering. Why? Why are you so cold? Why were you so cold? Are you there? Have you left? Did you come? You dint come. You never did. All my cries could not call you back.

Hu... I see. Tears flowing like river, I closed my eyes. The river ran. Ran and ran. Until I sobbed. I fell asleep. I sobbed. There is no where to go. I sobbed. Where shall I go. I sobbed. I can't move. I sobbed. How can I go away from you. I sobbed. I can't. I sobbed. Actually, you moved already. I sobbed. I can't catch you. I sobbed. I can't. I sobbed. Come back. That plea. That last plea, and I sank. Come back. I decided to take my own course. I will move anyhow. I turned my eyes away. Started to rise. Turned me feet away, and the first step! Where am I going? That familiar pang of panic. I looked back. There was nothing. There was no one. All desert. All sand. Dry sand. And my tears. I turned back. Sat down slowly. I can't go anywhere. Where will I? Oh. I thought. For the first time ever, perhaps. Oh I can't go. But I can't even catch up with you. As if I became a statue. What should I do. I? I.. I will WAIT.

Wait? Yes. I resolved. I will wait until you come back. And if there is no coming back ever? Another pang. I was still. I will still wait. Are you sure? Yes. I submitted.

Anxieties started to move away. There was nothing to be done. So I rested. I calmed myself. I looked into the abyss. Nothing yet to be seen! After what it seemed like years, I saw again. Centuries passed, I looked again. Millenniums! Ages! Oh, I waited. I became sand. I became dust. I burnt. I melted and became water. I evaporated in air. I got lost in the sky. I waited. And, I rose. I felt myself returning. I smiled. No more cries. Just calm flow of tears. Of joy. Of satisfaction.

Yet, a long way to go. No more rejections of self. No more rejections of myself. No more rejections of my follies. No more over excitements. I felt peace coming in for the first time. No more effort. Let things happen. Things are actually happening. I accept myself as I am. With all my weaknesses, with all my badness and with all the good in me. Yes, I am. I am. You are. Oh.. You are. I find you in my soul. I find you. I find you.

I am now Complete. Whole!


... Sahar

Lo

Ik lo ha mai
Roshan te nigghi
Mitti de dhur andar baldi
Us nu zinda rakhdi

Rakh batti hai
Mai nhi
Bujhan to pehla
Anant deeve
roshan kar sakdi ha....

... Sahar
Jan. 23, 2013.


इक लो हां मैं
रौशन ते िनघ्घी
मिट्टी दे धुर अंदर बलदी
उस नूं िज़न्दा रक्खदी

राख़ बत्ती है
मैं नहीं
बुझण तों पहिलां
अनन्त दीवे रौशन कर सकदी हां...

Ik Khushak Soch da Safar.....

इक खुष्क सोच दा सफ़र िकन्ना सुहावणा हुन्दा ए
जज़बात तां अक्सर ख़ून च िभज्जे रहिन्दे ने...

...साहर

Ik khushak soch da safar kinna suhavna hunda e
Jazbaat ta aksar khoon ch bhijje rehnde ne...

Ehsaas Tera!

रौशनी तों हौल़ा
पौणां तों ठंडा
साहां तों िनग्घा
एहसास तेरा
मेरे अछोह एहसासां नूं
छूह गया कुझ इंझ
िजवें बाल होंठ कोई
पहिली वार
माँ दीयाँ दुध्दीयाँ नूं जा छून्दे नें!

...साहर
Dec. 28,  2012.


Roshni to haula

Pauna to thanda
Saaha to niggha
Ehsaas tera
Mere acchoh ehsaasa nu
Cchooh gaya kujh injh
Jive baal honth koi
Pehli vaar
Ma diya duddhiya nu ja cchoohnde ne!

...Sahar

Badlaa/ Change

सोना िपघले िशंगार बणदा
लोहा तपके हिथयार हुन्दा
नारी तपके बे-ख़ौफ़ होवे
अक्ख चुक्के तां भुचाल हुन्दा
ख़ुद जलके रौशन करदी लो
भड़के तां बम्बार हुन्दा
डुब्ब जाण जे नूरी सागर ने
छलकण तां तूफ़ान हुन्दा
कच्च तां आिखर कच्च ही है
चुभ जावे लहू लुहाण हुन्दा
...साहर
Dec. 21, 2012.


Sona pighle shingaar banda
Loha tap k hathiyar hunda
Naari tap k bekhauf hove
Akh chukke ta bhuchaal hunda
Khud jal k roshan kardi lo
Bharhke ta bambaar hunda
Dubb jaan j noori sagar ne
Cchalkan ta toofan hunda
Kach ta akhir kach hi hai
Chubh jave lahoo luhaan hunda!

...Sahar

Sun ve Pooran...



पर्ीत दा चोगा पाई िफ़रदैं
मत्थे तिलक लवाई िफ़रदैं
सुण वे पूर्ण 
सुण वे भगता
वफ़ा नूं कलंक बुलाई िफ़रदैं 

तूं वी चल्ल ते मैं वी देखां
िकहड़ा रब्ब मनाई िफ़रदैं 

िकधरे लूणा िकधरे सुंदरां
मिट्टी िवच िमलाई िफ़रदैं 

रूप, जोबन दी गल्ल न करदी
क़ुदरत नूं ठुकराई िफ़रदैं

किस कम्म दा सन्यास वे तेरा
लोक दी ख़ता लुकाई िफ़रदैं 

सज्जरी सध्धर क़त्ल सी होई
लोथ नूं ताज बणाई िफ़रदैं  

़़़़साहर
12.12.12


Preet da chola pai firdae
Mathe tilak lavai firdae
Sun ve puran
Sun ve bhagta
Vafaa nu kalank bulai firdae

Tu v chall te Mai v dekha
Kehra rabb manai firdae

Kidhre loona kidhre sundra
Mitti vich Milai firdae

Roop, Joban di gall na kardi
Kudrat nu thukrai firdae

Kis Kam da sanyas ve tera
Lok di khata Lukai firdae

Sajjari saddhar Katal si hoi
Loth nu taj banai firdae

Khaure Ambreen Ki Hoeya....


इक हालों बेहाल दिल रोएया
ख़ौरे अम्बरीं की होएया
सागर दी अक्ख िवच हँझू
िसम िसम ज़खम बंद होएया

टुट्टदे तारे तों जद मन्नत मंगी
धरती दा सीना जल मोएया

पित्तयाँ दे परां नूं पेचे
रुक्ख बेचारा खूँ होएया

शेर दे पंजे कंडा चुिभया
जंगल सारा कंपन होएया

माँ दे दुद्ध िवच ज़हर जो आई
माँ वी मोई, बच्चा मोएया़ ....!


़़़साहर
12/12/12

Pyaar (Love)


'तैनूं पता वी है प्यार की हुंदा है?'
नही..... ओह डौर भौर उस वल्ल देखण लग पई।
ओह हैरान होया। आपणी पत्नी दीयाँ अक्खाँ िवचली मोह दी तंद उस लई काफ़ी नहीं सी। ओह कुछ होर वी चाहुंदा सी।
उसदी मसूिमयत पति दीयाँ सवाल भरीयाँ नज़रां च जवाब तलाषण लग्गी। उस तक्किया, इक परत खिझ, इक परत ग़ुस्सा,़ इक परत प्यार, इक परत सोच..... पल भर विच्च किन्ने ही रंग एहना अक्खाँ विच्च दी लँघ गये। पर होठाँ दी मुस्कुराहट नहीं हिल्ली!
ओह कुझ न समझ पाई। छू के पढ़न दी कोशिश कीती। आपणे नरम पोटियाँ हेठ उसदा सख़्त मत्था उसनू नदी दे सीने कंकड़ वांग चुभिया। िमट्ठी जिही पीड़ नाल पलकां झुका दंदां हेठ थल्लड़ला बुल्ल नप्प ओह मुस्कुरा पई। पता नहीं की कहिणा हुण इसने? जानण लई प्यार नाल उसदे चिहरे वल्लy तक्कण लग्गी।
'प्यार क़ुरबानी है!' मध्धम जिही अवाज़ विच उस गंभीरता नाल किहा। ..... ते ओह ठहाका मारके ताज़ा खिड़े फुल्ल वाँगू हस्स पई।
डौर भौर होण दी वारी हुण उसदी सी।


साहर